Lunar Eclipse
by dreamcoatmom
Summary: Remus Lupin hasn't really given himself a chance to grieve for Sirius, but the unexpected arrival of a friend during a long night's vigil outside number four, Privet Drive offers him a chance to ease his troubled spirit and see someone special in a comple
1. Default Chapter

_"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."  
James Baldwin_

**Chapter 1: NIGHT WATCH**

Remus Lupin was cold the kind of cold that made one's bones ache and numbed the mind. He drew the limp lapels of his jacket tighter beneath his chin and settled more comfortably against the back hedgerow that divided number four, Privet Drive from its neighbor. He knew it was a warm summer night and could not help but resent that his body would betray him this way. It was the first day of the waning moon, so the cold came from within him, starting at the center of his chest and radiating outward toward his limbs His arms felt club-like and clumsy and his legs trembled as he hugged them at the knees. In the days of the waxing moon he felt the lycanthropy come on like a fever. He was restless and driven, and the "madness within" as Sirius called it would roil in his head, his chest and his belly like a gathering storm. Then, like a fever, it left more suddenly than it came on, rendering him weak and shaken, chilled and vulnerable. He had cast a drying charm on the grass so at least he'd be free from the settling dew but Merlin, he was _tired_.

His eyes were drawn upward toward the second story window at the center of the house the only room with a light on. Harry's room. The Order had been watching the boy closely as closely as they could without intruding, looking for signs of abuse from the Muggles or attack by Voldemort's forces. He knew someone else would have been happy to take the watch, but he had already missed last night because of his transformation. He couldn't explain the strong sense of responsibility he felt for this task; Harry didn't know he was here, so it wouldn't matter if Remus took a night off to sleep away the aftereffects of the full moon. But Remus would know the difference, and it was important for some reason that he remain close to Harry. Poor lad he'd already been through so much, but the events of three weeks ago had nearly destroyed him.

Remus closed his eyes and tried to quiet the accelerated pounding of his heart as he recalled that night at the Ministry. The look on Harry's face as he'd lunged toward the veil would forever haunt him, as would the stab of fear and horror Remus had felt when Sirius fell through, leaving them all behind. His best friend, gone taking the short-lived joy of their reunion with him and leaving Harry to cope with this latest tragedy. Remus knew he should speak with the boy He had tried, but the train station had been busy, and he could only manage a few awkward words about "taking care" and "keeping in touch."

Damn he was no good at that sort of thing.

The nearly inaudible "pop" of a stealth Apparation startled him from his thoughts. He was instantly alert, wand at the ready, but when he heard the unmistakable sounds of limbs tangled in shrubbery and a string of hissed curses he relaxed his stance, his face melting into a grin. He cast a quick five-foot Silencing Charm.

"Tonks what on earth...?"

Nymphadora Tonks emerged from under Mad-Eye Moody's invisibility cloak. Her short dark hair looked damp and capped her head in its natural state for a change. Grinning sheepishly, she pulled a small parcel from her pocket and enlarged it with a flick of her wand.

"Wotcher, Remus. From Molly she thought you'd like a hot drink and a bite to eat, since you hardly touched your supper. I hadn't seen you in awhile, so I vol...un...teered..."

She'd been busily rummaging around in a rather large picnic hamper, but faced him now, struggling with the top of a metal Thermos. She nearly toppled over again as the lid she was grappling with gave way. She handed it to him with a flourish and poured him some tea with exaggerated formality.

Remus stifled a grin and curled his stiff fingers around the cup, sniffing in appreciation as the fragrant steam rose between them. He felt himself begin to thaw as the heat from the cup radiated up his arms.

"Thanks, Tonks tell Molly I appreciate it."

"No problem. Say, you mind if I join you? That looks good."

"By all means. These nights get long I wouldn't mind a bit of company. Aren't you going to go short on sleep, though?"

Tonks yawned widely as she pulled another cup from the hamper and poured herself some tea. She reached for a sandwich, gave him half and joined him on the ground. "Eh. I'll catch up I go a long time without sleeping much, then I just sort of hit a wall. I'll know when it's time to crash." She looked up from her mug and her heart-shaped face softened into a weary smile. "Won't be long, I reckon. Tomorrow's my day off I'll have a nice lie-in then."

Remus nodded and wondered vaguely why she wasn't at least a little cold. She was dressed in a worn T-shirt and cut-off denim shorts with a pair of sturdy walking boots. It made him shiver just to look at her.

"Remus." Her voice was softer than usual. "You look like nine kinds of hell. Why don't you let me take the watch tonight?"

So _that_ was why she was here. He should have known.

"This is Molly's doing, isn't it?" His voice had taken on a hard edge, and his body had stiffened. "You needn't bother. I'm fine."

"Molly's" She looked at him, confused, then came to her feet as sudden comprehension emerged on her face. "Now wait just a damn minute, Lupin." Her eyes flashed with anger, and she looked rather hurt. "You should know me better than that by now. I don't play head games. Is it so hard to believe that I might genuinely like to be with you? Besides, you _do_ look like crap, and I was wor er...I thought you could use a bit more...well...rest." She turned to awkwardly examine the shrubbery.

Remus sighed wearily, his momentary anger giving way to fatigue and embarrassment. "Sorry. I I'm not really myself when well at the moment..." he finished lamely, uncomfortable with this sudden tension between them.

Up until now, they had never been anything but courteous and friendly with one another. This little kerfuffle seemed to imply a familiarity beyond acquaintances or co-workers...Were they...friends? This thought surprised him. They had drawn closer during this last year, their passion for the Order and their mutual affection for Sirius frequently bringing them together. She was a good kid and a damn fine Auror, if a little on the clumsy side. He liked her. She had an easy way with people and a vibrant nature that drew him to her just as he'd been drawn to Sirius.

With sudden clarity, he realized why he was so taken aback. She had just bawled him out exactly as Sirius would have done. In fact, with her face scrubbed and her hair in its natural state, the resemblance to her cousin was uncanny. She was looking at him now with the exact same mixture of exasperation and affection Sirius had always worn when he'd take Remus to task for refusing support. Maybe she _was_ his friend, after all. How in hell could he have missed that?

He must have looked awfully stricken, because her expression had changed yet again to a look of wry amusement. She rejoined him on the ground next to the picnic hamper and playfully bumped his shoulder with hers.

"Oh lighten up, Remus. You look like you walked through a ghost or something. I'm just annoyed at you. Here I am just trying to do the nice thing, and you go and get all shirty with me."

He looked down at the uneaten sandwich in his hand and sighed again. "I know. Sorry." He couldn't seem to stop apologizing. He needed to pull himself together. Right now. He pulled a deep breath in through his nose and slipped the well-used mask of friendly courtesy carefully back in place.

"I'm fine, Tonks really. And I don't mind looking after Harry."

He hoped she'd take that as the dismissal it was, but he noted with dismay that she was looking at him intently. Remus wasn't sure what she thought she saw, but her expression had softened.

"You're worried about him..." She shook her head with a sad little smile. "Well, that's stupid, of course you're worried about him we all are. Blimey! The kid ought to just wear a dirty great target around his neck. What I mean is, you're... hurting... for him aren't you?"

He was silent for a moment as he stared unseeingly at the wet grass. Hurting for him? Hell yes, he was hurting for Harry. How much pain was one person supposed to endure? And Harry was just a kid. He should be lurking after girls, sneaking Firewhiskey into house parties, inventing pranks to hack off that little Malfoy ferret, not fending off an army of Death Eaters, or being forced to play Voldemort's unwilling host and certainly not watching his friends be injured or his beloved godfather be killed. Remus lifted his eyes to the lighted window again, the mask gone, replaced by grief, raw and stark in its intensity.

"You should have seen him, Tonks. He tried to follow Sirius through the veil and when I stopped him, he fought as though his life was at stake."

He stopped, unable to continue and thrown off balance by a prickling behind his eyes. He hadn't cried yet there had been too much to do in the aftermath of that night and then the full moon had come 'round. He hadn't yet allowed himself the luxury of mourning. Oh, he could feel the grief a vast abyss waiting to swallow him as soon as he gave in to it but something told him it would break him in half if he did. He blinked and cleared his throat, but his voice still rasped with the jagged edge of a sorrow barely contained.

"In a way, I reckon it was. Both he and Sirius had pinned all of their hopes on each other. Merlin knows they deserved some happiness. The kid is so damned brave - but I don't know if he has the courage to face this."

He turned to look at her. Her elfin features reflected the moon's light, and her dark eyes sparkled with tears. As if on impulse, she reached out to gently rub his armHer eyes never left his.

"And you, Remus - are you able to face this?"

There was the grief again, and this time there was no holding it at bay. Like a desolate wind it swept in to claim him. He dropped the sandwich and took great gulps of the night air, but couldn't seem to breathe correctly. Her face became unfocused as he fought the pain in his chest. The prickling behind his eyes had become a burning, and he shook his head in mute appeal as he struggled to bring himself back under control. This was neither the time nor the place for a display of emotion, but the quiet of the evening, the silvery moonlight bathing everything in its ethereal glow, the gentleness of Tonks' voice and the tears in her eyes as she acknowledged his pain had unhinged him. She was his friend. She'd understand. He closed his eyes and, helpless to control them, felt hot tears slide down his cold face.

"I miss him, Tonks." His voice caught on the words as they began to pour out of him. "It's like a part of me went with him. We'd just found each other again after all that wasted time, and what did we get? A few miserable months of hiding like rodents while the world went to hell around us!" He was shut up in that damned mausoleum of a house, as much a prisoner as he'd been in Azkaban maybe more because people who supposedly cared about him put him there. He used to be so full of life, y'know? But all that was left was a shadow of the man I'd called 'friend.' The only thing that kept him going was Harry. Sirius never stopped grieving for James, and Harry is so much like his dad..."

He couldn't go on. The pain was relentless, and he clutched fistfuls of prematurely gray hair as he shuddered with the torment of it: Sirius, James and Lily, James' parents who were _good_ people... all gone. His thoughts strayed to his own dad and mum, tortured to death because they wouldn't _couldn't _reveal his whereabouts to Voldemort... No. _No_! That was too much to bear; he wouldn't think about that now. So he wept for Harry, whose childhood had been stolen, and he wept for himself because his best friend the last link to his own childhood was gone and he was too damn tired to cope with it all.

Dimly he became aware of a face next to his own and a sweetly feminine scent in his nostrils, a gentle strength that encircled him from behind and rocked him while he sat on the manicured grass. Gradually he stilled, taking an occasional shaky breath as he drew on Tonks's warmth. She was indeed his friend, young as she was, and he was grateful for her even as he cringed with embarrassment.

"Sorry..." he mumbled, then cleared his aching throat. "I'm sorry, Tonks. I shouldn't have..."

She was still kneeling behind him, holding him in her arms. "Don't even mention it, Remus." She gave a shaky little laugh, then sniffled loudly. "Don't you think I could have used a good cry myself? I miss him too."

She gave his shoulders a little shake before she released him and sat back down beside him. "Maybe we need to do something for him...you know...to...I don't know...finish things. Say good-bye. When Harry comes back to Headquarters we can arrange a memorial of some sort. It doesn't seem proper not to pay tribute in some way."

Remus nodded wearily. "I'd like that. And it might do Harry some good, too." Then, in a voice thick with despair and more than a little fear, he made himself a promise and spoke it aloud to Tonks, who was now his friend.

"I think I'll talk to Dumbledore about spending some time with Harry. He should know he's not alone in all of this." The moment he said it, his stomach knotted with trepidation at the thought of mentoring James and Lily's son. But he could also sense the rightness of it - a small yet sure consolation in knowing that Sirius would have asked him to do it, given the chance. He glanced at the young woman next to him, and was rewarded with a smile and a nod reminiscent of Sirius, yet somehow sweeter, steadier, more tender - and appealing in a way his old friend had never been.

With a dull ache in the region of his heart, but a steady and comforting warmth along his right side where Tonks sat, he cast a look up toward the boy's window and saw that the light within had gone out.

**Author notes:** Thank you to everyone who reviewed and encouraged me to expand "Night Watch" into a multi-chaptered work. Thanks also to beautiful betas AnneU and Chaosreigns85. Extra special thanks and oodles of schnoogles to Magnoliamama for the close work on this piece - you are a jewel. Check out chapter 2, written from Tonks' point of view - enjoy!


	2. Daisies, Demons and Deals

Chapter 2 – Daisies, Demons and Deals

Tonks awoke to bright sunlight angling across the bed in her tiny flat and groaned when she remembered that it never came through that window until noon or later.

"Damn," she muttered sleepily, not feeling refreshed in the least. "That's half the day."

She was groggily considering a cup of tea when a tapping at the window forced her out of bed. When one foot caught the trailing edge of her bedcovers she hopped around on the other, cursing when her elbow smacked painfully into the bedside table as she spun in a woozy little circle to disentangle herself. The tapping continued as she staggered toward the window.

"Coming. I'm _coming_ you daft bird! Keep your bloody feathers on."

A sturdy-looking post owl hovered outside with a roll of parchment in its beak. When she managed to get the window open, it flew in to land neatly on her rumpled bed. She took the parchment, which was rolled and fastened with a bright yellow ribbon, and held it in her teeth as she searched the pockets of last night's shorts for a Knut. After the owl had flown off, she gave the ribbon a tug and yelped with surprise when the whole thing burst into riotous bloom in a showy puff of smoke. She suddenly found herself clutching a nosegay of daisies while a small card swung saucily from the yellow ribbon that bound them.

Thanks for our little chat . –Remus 

She blinked in surprise but couldn't suppress a smile as she lifted the flowers to her nose and took in their pungent scent. This was certainly unexpected. Such a gesture was hardly like Remus, but the note was written in his precise hand and sounded just like him – friendly, polite and understated to a fault.

At least that was how he usually was, but last night had been different. He'd revealed a depth of emotion that was startling in its intensity. She'd known from the time she'd met him how kind he was and from the very beginning she had felt drawn to his gentle influence. Truth be told, she supposed it was a bit of a schoolgirl crush, but she had always laughed at the thought of Remus caught up in the throes of a grand love affair. He was so…well…_bookish_.

But her smile faded as she remembered how anguished he'd been last night, and later how embarrassed he'd been by his own vulnerability. She had stayed with him until well after the moon set, sharing memories and keeping watch outside Harry's window until fatigue had forced her to Apparate back home in the murky chill just before dawn.

The fact that Remus had acknowledged the incident at all was both astonishing and humbling. He must consider her to be a trusted friend to have opened up like that, and then he had said "thank you" so sweetly. Her chest felt a bit heavy as the weight of such a gift settled upon her. She looked down again at the bright little bouquet and felt the sting of sudden tears as it occurred to her that Sirius would have probably approved.

When she arrived at Order headquarters the meeting room was already crowded and fairly crackled with tension. She slid into a chair along the wall next to Bill Weasley, who looked like he hadn't slept much in the last few days either.

"Wotcher Bill - What gives?"

Bill scrubbed at his face and made an unsuccessful attempt to swipe back the hair that trailed uncharacteristically from the ponytail he always wore.

"Hey there, Tonks," he said wearily. "We found them – or at least we think we have." His eyes flicked upward, and he grinned roguishly. "Nice hair."

Tonks fingered the sassy little style she had pinned with wee sparkling daisy barrettes and colored to match the yellow of the ribbon that held her flowers.

"Thanks. You found them? Where? How?"

"In a guesthouse on the grounds of Malfoy Manor. I managed to come up with a tracking charm we could use on that little bastard Kreacher and he led us right to 'em."

"Cool. When are we going in?"

"That's what we're about to find out. The higher-ups have been meeting since dawn."

She looked toward the table, where Dumbledore, McGonagall and Moody were listening carefully to Remus. She couldn't hear what he said, but she marveled at his quiet authority. His fatigue of the night before appeared to be gone, though she knew he hadn't slept. His sandy graying hair was growing longer. It brushed his shoulders and flopped boyishly over his forehead while his expressive hands gestured to emphasize a particularly important point. His eyes were alight with determination.

Dumbledore nodded curtly as Remus finished speaking, and rose to address the room which immediately fell into silence. "Ladies and gentlemen, we know where they are."

The room erupted into cheers and applause which Dumbledore acknowledged with a solemn nod, and quieted again as he continued.

"Thanks to some hard work by our charms expert Mr. Weasley, we have been able to track an insider of the Malfoy household and locate magical signatures that match the wands of several noted Death Eaters, including Bellatrix Lestrange and Peter Pettigrew. They are residing in a guesthouse on the grounds of Malfoy Manor, which is heavily warded and no doubt well-guarded. Mr. Lupin " Here he turned to acknowledge Remus, who sat at the table with an indecipherable look on his face. "has come up with a plan for a pre-emptive strike. We have selected a strike force of ten Order members who will work in teams of two. We will secure the perimeter by stealth and penetrate the interior by force. There will also be an airborne unit of eight witches and wizards who will serve as strike co-ordinators and double as back-up if necessary. The objective will be to capture Voldemort's lieutenants and search the premises for information that might reveal their next plan of attack."

Remus then rose to speak, his gentle voice carrying throughout the room.

"There are three physical entry points. The front door leads into a formal sitting room, the back door goes into the kitchen, and there is a side door on the outer wall of the attached greenhouse. Three of the ground teams will use these entry points. The other two will Apparate into upstairs bedrooms once the wards have been disabled. Any questions so far?"

Tonks sat up from her comfortable slouch and raised her hand.

"Tonks?" Remus's warm gaze shifted to her and the corners of his mouth turned up slightly as his eyes flicked up toward her hair and back down to meet hers again.

"Have you been able to identify the configuration of the wards? I don't fancy being fricasseed before we can even pop off a spell." She heard Bill's soft chuckle beside her and felt, rather than saw his weary nod.

"Mr. Weasley was easily able to identify them. The way in which they are layered is complex, but the wards themselves are easily broken if taken in the proper sequence." Here Remus grinned. "I can only say that I'm glad he's on our side."

Nervous laughter rippled around the room as everyone agreed with that assessment. Tonks turned to Bill and offered up a high five, which he laughingly returned.

"Any other questions so far? Right then, here are your team assignments. When I call your names, get with your partner and gather over here. We'll go over the details once the meeting is adjourned."

He began reading names off a list in teams of two. Tonks was not surprised to learn that she was partnered with Mad-Eye, since it was common to combine youth and experience on the missions, but she was taken aback by the nature of her task.

"I'm part of the stealth team? Are you sure that's a good idea, Mad-Eye?"

Moody's roving eye fixed upon her in its customary glare. "Of course. The sneaking around's not going to last that long, but the fight's going to be a hell of a thing. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have at my side, lass. You've proven yourself, don't worry."

Tonks frowned as she remembered the searing pain and sudden blackness of the spell she'd taken at the Ministry while providing cover for Moody from above. The story went that he'd been able to neutralize a couple of Death Eaters before he'd been taken out himself, thanks to her efforts. After she'd awakened in St. Mungos a day later he'd stopped in to see her, and as he'd handed her back her wand only said, "Well done, lass," in that cranky rattle of his.

She gave him a grim smile and nodded curtly as she turned her attention back to Remus's instructions.

The conditions were perfect. An overcast sky provided cover from the moonlight. The air was warm with a slight breeze that swished through the trees and covered the sounds of their approach. As soon as Fawkes' signal arrived, Tonks and the others had Apparated to safe positions directly across from their designated entry points. Tonks allowed herself a quick sigh of relief that Bill had been able to bring down the wards without tripping some sort of alarm. He _was_ good. She also gave herself a pat on the back for not getting tangled in the shrubbery this time.

Dressed head to toe in black, with her hair back to its natural state, she fell to one knee and fumbled for her omnioculars while still keeping hold of her wand. Moody, also in black, swiveled his eye toward the quiet house, where a few lights glowed through the leaded glass windows. So far, so good – no sign of having been detected. Her eyes lifted skyward, where the airborne team was assembling. She could just make out Remus's lanky form through the lenses of the omnioculars.

"Okay," she whispered to Moody. "We're all here. Stand by."

He didn't reply, but she could sense the tensing of his body next to her as he held his wand at the ready.

Like a dark specter surrounded by others of his kind, Remus raised his wand arm high. Tonks felt the nagging fatigue she'd been fighting lately dissipate to make way for the familiar rush of adrenaline that always accompanied her on missions. Her body tensed of its own volition like a coiled spring. A brief Lumos spell shone from the tip of Remus's wand like a single star and she turned to her partner.

"That's it," she hissed, and grinned at Moody as she pocketed the omnioculars. She knew that she probably looked like a kid about to sneak into the Hogwarts kitchens, but she couldn't help it. Moody didn't smile back, but he did chuck her under the chin with gruff affection and gave her a signal to move out.

Her smile faded when she remembered how much she hated stealth approaches. As they left the cover of the foliage, she crept forward with her wand at the ready and made for the kitchen door at the back of the house. Without warning, her ankle twisted painfully when she caught her foot in some sort of divot in the lawn. She went down in a tangled heap of flailing limbs and felt a flash of anger at herself for her own clumsiness. She felt a vice-like grip on her arm as Moody hauled her to her feet and gave her a little nudge in the right direction.

Damn.

Shaking the incident off, she made it to the door and looked skyward again. She could no longer see the airborne team since they were standing too close to the house, but when the sky glowed red, she knew the time had come. Stealth no longer a factor, she whipped her wand out in front of her and yelled, "Bombarda!" The door blasted open in a gratifying explosion, and she turned to cover the rear as Moody barreled his way inside. Two guards rose in surprise from the kitchen table and fumbled in panic for their wands. Moody stunned them quickly and efficiently, one right after the other. He secured them with magical bonds as Tonks moved into the house's interior hallway, which was filled with the smoke of spell residue and alight with flying curses. Instinct took over as her body responded with grace and precision. She cast a quick shield charm and managed to stun two more guards. Her peripheral vision caught sight of Hestia Jones and Sturgis Podmore coming down the hall stairs at a dead run with the Weasley twins close behind.

"Top floor is secure!" Podmore, whose nose appeared to be broken, yelled over the din. "They've got to be at the front of the house - hurry!"

Tonks sprinted down the short corridor to where she saw lamplight glowing in steady contrast to the flashing of curses. The room was a mess. Furniture had been overturned and was being used as cover for wizards on both sides of the fight. The smoke was so thick it was hard to discern faces. As a curse arrowed towards her Tonks threw herself to the side, coming neatly to her feet from a perfectly executed roll.

A scream of laughter pierced through the confusion and Tonks froze in recognition. Bellatrix Lestrange was suddenly at her side, the point of her wand at Tonks' throat.

"Well, Little Nymph, I'm surprised to see you here. I thought we'd taken care of you the same way we took care of Sirius, the great fool. How about a kiss for your Aunt Bella," and she screamed with laughter again, so close to Tonks' ear that it caused pain.

"Drop the wand, Lestrange, or you'll see him sooner than you think," came Mad-Eye's gravelly voice from behind them.

"Oh, I don't know," she said with syrupy sarcasm. "I'm guessing you care more about who lives or dies than I do right now. Shall we see who has more nerve, old man?"

Suddenly the feel of her aunt's body so close to hers, the cloying smell of Bellatrix's perfume and sweat combined with the shrill timbre of her voice made Tonks angrier than she'd ever been. She flashed back to when she'd awakened in hospital to learn that Sirius had died at the hands of this crazy old hag. The sight of Harry at the train station, a fifteen-year-old boy with eyes too old for his face, swam before her vision. Tonks thought of Remus shuddering with grief in the moonlight, and the noise of the battle faded as she focused on the feel of the wand at her throat.

"Y'know what?" she said conversationally. "I think I've had just about enough of you, you miserable bitch."

With that, she stomped hard on Bellatrix's foot and drove her elbow backwards into the soft flesh of her midsection. Using the distraction to his advantage, Mad-Eye roared "Expelliarmus!" popping the wand loose from Bellatrix's hand. While she had Bellatrix doubled over, Tonks used the opportunity to spin round and pull her to the floor. Her training took over, and in no time she had Bellatrix face down on the polished wood with both arms pinned behind her back. She shifted forward to allow Moody the assist, and ground her knee into the side of the witch's head in a very satisfying way while Bellatrix screeched in impotent rage. Oh, how she hated this woman. Still ignoring the battle raging around them, Tonks gave in to a red haze of fury that seemed to utterly consume her.

"Why? WHY?" She was dimly aware that her voice was nearly as screechy as Bellatrix's. With each question, she ground her aunt's head under her knee and into the floor. "Why are you like this? What in the name of hell is the matter with you? You're supposed to be my family, and all you are is an evil bitch. A BITCH! Damn you, Aunt Bella, WHY?"

Her wand was lying on the floor where it had fallen in the midst of the tussle. She snatched it up and jammed it into the flesh between Bellatrix's shoulder blades as the older witch continued to hurl threats and insults.

"Shut up! Just SHUT UP!" Tonks raged, applying more pressure on the wand tip, and then her voice lowered to a quivering whisper. "Just give me a reason, you dried up old cow – any reason at all."

To her surprise Bellatrix did shut up, but she was still breathing heavily and her eyes glittered with hatred and fury. Tonks became aware of just how hard her own heart was pounding, how each beat seemed to throb in her temples and behind her eyes which were stinging and tearing - perhaps from the excess smoke, perhaps from something more. Her hands trembled visibly. She could hear the far-off sound of her name being called, but the room began to spin in a lazy, nauseating 360-degree arc and it was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe. In the midst of her confusion she felt a pair of strong hands grasp her shoulders with gentle insistence, and she allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. She blinked a couple of times until she could make out the face of Remus Lupin, who seemed very concerned about her for some reason.

"Wotcher, Remus," she managed to say in a flimsy squeak. Then his face disappeared as the world went black.

White walls…bright light…the smell of anti**-**septic potions. St. Mungo's.

"Aw, damn," Tonks muttered as she closed her eyes to fight off the pounding in her head. Her stomach still felt pretty dodgy, and her mouth felt and tasted like she'd been licking out cauldron bottoms. What had happened? She fought off the mental fog in an attempt to reconstruct her last memory, and winced in humiliation as the night's raid came back to her. Wow – she had gone completely to pieces. Nothing like that had ever happened in the field before, and she began to doubt if her recall was indeed accurate. She couldn't help groaning as she attempted to sit up.

"Nymphadora!" Her mother's voice came from a chair in the corner of the room. Andromeda was at her daughter's side in an instant, her cool hand resting on Tonks' aching forehead.

"Mum –" she managed in a dry croak. "Mum, what happened?"

"Exhaustion, dear. The healers say you've not had much sleep, and you are still weak from your earlier injuries. Oh, Nymphadora, what are we going to do with you? My brave girl."

Exhaustion? Of all the damn fool things to take her out. That explained her very unprofessional behavior towards Bellatrix. How embarrassing.

Tonks couldn't help it. She was an Auror, an officer of the Ministry and a member of Dumbledore's elite fighting force, but the sound of her mum's soft voice, the endearments of childhood, and the express permission to be a child again all felt exactly like what she needed at the moment. She grabbed hold of her mother's hand and kissed it gratefully.

"I'm glad you're here, Mum. Dad?"

"Daddy's gone to work, but he said to contact him as soon as you're awake."

"Mum, Aunt Bella…" Her voice was quivering now.

"Shhh dear, I know. It's all over now. Bella has never been quite right, and there is no longer anything that can be done for her. She stopped being my sister a long time ago. I understand your anger – I'd have done the same in your place. Do whatever you have to, and don't worry about my feelings in the matter."

"Crazy old bitch."

"Language, dear," her mother's dark eyes twinkled with amusement even as they sparkled with unshed tears. "Dumbledore himself was here to talk to the healers about your condition," she said, proudly. "Your work at the Auror Division has been suspended for two weeks, and you are confined to light duty for the Order." She held up a hand to still Tonk's angry protest. "I know you have important work to do, and it's not like you to sit idle, but you won't help anyone if your health is compromised. Your commander was here – Sirius's friend – and he said they'd find a way to keep you from going nutters.**"**

Just then a well-padded, apple-cheeked woman in the bright green robes of a healer bustled in with a vial of evil-looking liquid in her hand.

"Ah – look who's awake." She planted her feet and addressed her patient sternly. "Nymphadora Tonks, we need to stop meeting like this."

"Wotcher, Aggie – and it's Tonks, just Tonks. You know that."

At this pronouncement, Andromeda rolled her eyes and shook her head. "It's a beautiful name. Someday you'll – "

"Thank you for it, yeah. Seems to me we've had this discussion before. Mum, it makes me sound like a…" She took in her mother's raised eyebrows and suddenly didn't have the strength to go on with the debate. "Well, I dunno what it makes me sound like, but it's more name than I need."

"Nonsense. It's a lovely name, and it suits you better than you think. Darling, you're looking very pale. Perhaps you should get some more sleep."

"And that's just what you're going to get, duck. Here, drink up now."

Aggie handed her the nasty looking vial and stood with her hands on her hips until Tonks drank the entire draught. She adjusted the pillows and pulled the covers back up to Tonks' chin after giving her a glass of water to chase the potion. "You'll be out for a while again, so I suggest you say your good-byes and plan for no more visitors until tomorrow. Understood?"

"Yes'm," Tonks said wryly, her arms feeling like lead weights. "Bye, Mum. Thanks for coming down. I'll be fine."

"I know you will. For now," Andromeda said darkly. "But I swear by all the magic in my wand, Nymphadora, that you will be the death of me yet. You just _had_ to become an Auror, and I know that you're a good one, but sometimes I think you go looking for danger even when you don't need to."

"Yes, well, living with the name Nymphadora all my life has made me slightly suicidal. Love you, Mum."

"Love you too, dear." Andromeda chuckled and leaned over to kiss her daughter on the forehead. "You've grown to be an extraordinary woman, Nymphadora. Daddy and I are very proud of you, but please – do try to take care of yourself, will you?"

"Mmmmm." Tonks couldn't fight the effects of the potion any longer and let the delicious tug of deep sleep claim her. What she didn't know was that Andromeda stayed for a bit longer, remembering her little girl and marveling at the grown woman before her. What Tonks also couldn't know was that as Andromeda turned to go, she whispered a plea to all the forces of magic for her girl's safety, grateful that her only daughter couldn't see her anxious tears.

When Tonks next awoke, she felt a great deal better than she had in a long while. She was surprised to feel hungry, and noted that the vague fog which had surrounded her for the last few weeks was gone. She sat up, stiff from inactivity and still feeling heavy in the limbs. She yawned widely and stretched to work the knots out of her shoulders. It was then that she spied the bright little nosegay on the table at the foot of the bed. Daisies again - tied with a now-familiar yellow ribbon, and resting in a water pitcher. There was no card with the bouquet this time, but she knew who had left them. A little thrill swooped through her midsection at the thought of Remus coming to see her. Blimey! What was up with that? "Get a grip, you silly twit," she thought to herself. "He's way too old for you, and he doesn't see you like _that _anyhow."

But the thought of such a possibility was rather nice.

She was grinning like a loon when the man in question poked his head in the door. She was instantly flustered and cracked her elbow painfully on the bed rail as she instinctively reached up and to her dismay encountered a magnificent case of bedhead. Oh, well – it was too late to do anything about it without looking like an idiot. Besides, she didn't have the energy.

"Remus! What are you doing here?"

"Nice. This is the greeting I get for having kept a tireless vigil beside your bed, keeping you safe from all harm – nay! For keeping the very specter of death at bay!" His hand was over his heart and his eyes rolled heavenward in a parody of saintly suffering. Then he winked at her and grinned in his boyish way. "Well, at least I kept that Aggie woman off your back."

Tonks snorted. "My hero. Thank you for the flowers."

"Don't mention it." He settled comfortably in the chair at her bedside. "I should give you more than that for delivering Bellatrix Lestrange. Peter managed to escape, but I'll take what we've got. You're one hell of an Auror, Nymphadora."

For some reason, it didn't bother her to hear him use her given name. It actually sounded rather nice when he said it softly like that, with more than a hint of admiration in his voice.

He went on. "You fought like a seasoned veteran. Moody was fairly crowing with pride – once we knew you'd be okay, of course. We thought you were going to kill her." His mouth twisted into a wry smile. "Though a large part of me can't say I'd blame you."

Tonks could feel the heat creeping up her face and prickling along her hairline. "Yes, well…"

His voice was soft. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. Yes! I mean…I don't know if there's much to tell. I just did my nut, that's all. She made me so bloody angry I lost control. Damned unprofessional of me."

"Yes, it was. Which is why you're here. You need a rest, Tonks. No – just hear me out. You've been pulling double duty in the Auror field and with the Order. You've had hardly any sleep, and apparently you weren't at full strength when you returned to work. We almost lost you at the Ministry that night, and you should have had more time to recover." He shook his head. "I should have noticed that you were flagging. I was just too caught up in Order business and my own problems to notice it. You put on a very good act, you know that? Don't look at me like that."

By the time he was finished speaking, Tonks was fairly shaking with indignation.

"I'll look at you any way I bloody well please, you arrogant berk! A good act? A GOOD ACT? Let's talk about who's got himself a good act, shall we?" Tonks was sitting straight up in bed, gesturing wildly. "You're as played out as I am – probably more. You haven't slept or eaten properly yourself since that night at the Ministry. You've been through the full moon, you've lost your best friend, and you've not stopped working for the better part of a year. You look like one good puff of wind would knock you right off your pins, and you're _still _running around acting like you're the big effin' wing-nut that holds civilization together!"

He'd been staring at her dumbfounded until that last phrase, which brought forth an involuntary snort of laughter. He was obviously trying to hold it back, but her bosom-heaving, nostril-flaring tirade combined with that ridiculous declaration seemed to be too much for Remus. As her words hung suspended in the antiseptic air, she had to admit it _was_ pretty funny. Pretty soon, the two of them were laughing uproariously. Remus brought himself back under control with difficulty, his grin slowly giving way to a thoughtful look.

"Remus?"

His eyes lifted to meet hers. When he answered, his voice was barely audible.

"It may have been amusing, but there's a painful kernel of truth to what you're saying," he said slowly, as though the words were being pulled from him against his will. "Dumbledore gave me nearly the same speech I gave you, and I convinced him that it would be better for me to keep going. Perhaps I was wrong about that." He scrubbed at his face, seemed to come to some sort of decision, and said with enthusiasm, "Tell you what, Tonks. We'll both take light duty – we pulled all sorts of information out of the Malfoy guesthouse, and it all needs to be sorted and analyzed. Bellatrix is being held for questioning, and Peter has disappeared along with Voldemort for the time being. All indications are that he will continue to lie low. I'll delegate people to keep tabs on any leads that may surface and in the meantime we'll go over what we found in that raid. For the next two weeks we'll work from headquarters - getting a full eight hours of sleep per night, taking frequent rests during the day, and eating as much as Molly will feed us. While we're at it, we'll plan a memorial service for Sirius and I'll try to spend some time with Harry. What do you say?"

Tonks thought about it. She could spend the next couple of weeks holed up in her flat with nothing to do but sleep, eat and read. Or she could take Remus up on his offer and still contribute to the work of the Order – and she could see to it personally that he would be getting some rest in the bargain. It was a no-brainer. When her eyes met his again, she smiled cheekily and pointed at him.

"Bring me some chocolate to go with those flowers, Lupin, and you've got yourself a deal."


End file.
